Dani Haupt, Anastasiia Lisenko
The decision to cohabitate before a ring is on your finger isn’t just about sharing closet space—it’s a milestone that can shape your relationship in ways both magical and mundane. So, should you do it? And what exactly should you keep in mind before merging throw pillows and assigning laundry days? Here’s 8 things you might want to consider and discuss before handing over a house key.
4Doing Well, Marie-Lou Duvillier
Be Clear on Why You’re Moving In
Are you moving in because the rent’s too high to go solo—or because you’re both genuinely ready for the next chapter? There’s no wrong answer, but clarity is key. Being honest about your motivations (and each other's) will help avoid resentment later on. If you're expecting an engagement soon, say it. If you're still figuring things out, that's fine too—just don't assume you're on the same page without confirming it.
Talk About the Day-to-Day Stuff
Moving in together isn’t the same as test-driving a car. You’re not just “trying each other out”—you’re shifting the rhythm of your relationship and lifestyle. Grocery lists, laundry cycles, dishes in the sink—these things suddenly matter more than how romantic your date nights are. Don't be afraid to talk about who usually cooks, how you each like to wind down after work, and what a typical weekday looks like. It’s not as glamorous as it seems, but it’s real—and the small stuff adds up fast, so it's always good to leave an open line for communication.
Be Honest About Cleaning and Living Habits
One of you might be a "make the bed every morning" person. The other? Not so much. From what “clean” means to how often you vacuum, small daily habits can turn into tension points fast. Have a conversation about how you both like to live—and how you’ll share the load.
Set Emotional Boundaries Early
Sharing a space doesn’t mean sharing every moment. Alone time, privacy, and how you handle conflict all become more important when you live under one roof. Discuss how you’ll give each other space, how you like to cool off after disagreements, and what makes you feel respected. Physical closeness works best when it’s paired with emotional clarity.
Money Matters More
Than You Think
When you share a space, you’re often also sharing expenses—and that can change the dynamic fast. Talk openly about how you'll split rent, utilities, groceries, and unexpected costs. Will everything be 50/50? What happens if one of you earns significantly more? These aren’t the most romantic conversations, but they’re essential for avoiding tension down the line. Financial compatibility doesn’t mean having the same salary—it means having the same approach.
Don’t Skip the Engagement Talk
If you’re moving in with marriage on the mind, don’t keep that to yourself. Some couples live together for years before getting engaged, while others see cohabitation as a direct step toward the aisle. Be clear about what the move means to you emotionally—not just logistically.
Audiophile Aesthetic, Adorable Snap
How Will You Keep the Romance Alive?
Living together can blur the line between partner and roommate. Without meaning to, you might slip into autopilot—prioritizing chores and comfort over connection. Before moving in, talk about how you’ll stay intentional about your relationship. Whether it’s setting aside time for date nights or unplugging for a weekend breakfast, small rituals can help keep the spark from getting lost in the day-to-day.
Tune Out the Noise
Your mom might raise an eyebrow. Your best friend might have Opinions. And someone’s definitely going to ask, “So… when’s the ring coming?” But the truth is, there’s no universal timeline for love. Whether moving in together brings you closer to the aisle or just closer to clarity, the decision should reflect your relationship—not everyone else’s expectations.
