A marriage proposal is a monumental chapter in a couple’s story, a beautiful promise to love and care for one another forever. It’s a tender, thrilling, deeply significant and a full of anticipation moment, one both partners want to hold close to their hearts for a lifetime. How you choose to propose can shape not just your memories but also your partner’s response. Here, we’re looking at two proposal scenarios to help you decide which one resonates with you the most.
Miles Leavitt, Dos Más En La Mesa
Surprise Proposal
Popping the question to the love of your life when they least expect it — that's the beauty of a surprise proposal. The happy tears, the laughter, and the pure admiration fill the space where love is all around. However, like all things in life, a surprise proposal has its pros and cons to consider before you decide to go for it.
Pro: Raw Emotions
The magic of the surprise proposal is how emotion-driven and authentic it is! You get to see your partner's honest, straight-from-the-heart reaction. Nothing posed, nothing polished - just raw, unfiltered emotions. It's those candid moments that make for the best memories and photos
Pro: Marks the Milestone
Surprise proposals have long become synonymous with an engagement, dating back to ancient Roman times. We've all seen them in rom-coms and read in the pages of romance novels — the moment when one character unexpectedly gets down on one knee and asks the other for their hand in marriage, to spend the rest of their lives together. Despite the times evolving, for the hopeless romantics and traditionalists at heart, being proposed to in such a thoughtful, meaningful way is a beautiful gesture to mark the start of your journey into wedded life together.
Pro: A Unique Story to Share
A surprise proposal can be such a special chapter in your love story! It's the kind of moment you'll want to share again and again — with family, friends, on social media, and one day, with future generations. It’ll be a big part of your journey together that, maybe, will inspire others! For maximum impact, plan the proposal for while on holiday together, or get family and friends involved - when spirits are high and love is in the air.
Con: Risk of Rejection
A surprise proposal is truly a surprise for both partners. While you get to see an honest reaction, you never really know what it will be. It could be a joyful "yes" or a heartbreaking "no." Rejection can be tough to handle, but it’s still part of the journey. Maybe the timing was off, or your partner wasn't quite ready. If opting for a surprise proposal, deeply consider if you and your partner are on the same page with your commitment to each other and vision for your lives together, so all surprises are only good ones!
Con: Stressful Planning
Keeping secrets is tough, and planning a big surprise like a proposal without giving anything away is even more of a challenge. You have to be as secretive as possible, leaving no trace, no hints or clues about what's coming. With so much to think about and the added pressure of hoping your partner loves the surprise, it can definitely get stressful.
Con: Puts Pressure on Partner
Saying “yes” or “no” to a proposal takes a lot of courage and quick thinking. And the surprise element gives your partner almost no time to process what's happening, which can put a lot of pressure on them. They might be so taken aback by the surprise that they are at a loss for words and can’t think clearly, let alone make such a life changing decision.
Non-Proposal
While some love making surprises and value an honest reaction, others prioritize certainty and choose to be straightforward with their partner, asking directly whether they are ready for the next big step, and making a joint decision in being engaged. But before you do this, consider all the pros and cons if this approach is best for you and your partner.
Pro: It’s Mutual
If you've been waiting for a proposal, don't be afraid to open up the conversation in a direct way - no more hinting or strategically planting the idea in your partner's mind! Instead, opt to openly discuss an engagement, making the commitment over an organic conversation in the privacy of your own home and choosing rings together, or alternatively deciding on a time and place together to see out the milestone. While it might not be the usual way, doing it together gives both partners a sense of reassurance, certainty and equalness, and it's so great when both partners are on the same page about taking the relationship to the next level!
Pro: Cost Effective
There's truly no need for grandeous gestures and an over the top proposal if that's not you. They can be costly and unnecessary, particularly if you and your partner value something more down to earth. If you're considering this option, more than likely you have already had conversations around marriage, it's now just about choosing the right time and moment to formally agree to a commitment to each other, and it's often in the most informal, natural, every day moments these opportunities bloom - such as cuddled up on the couch together or over a nice home cooked meal.
Pro: Perfect Ring Choice
And if that's not convincing enough, just imagine how much easier it is to choose the perfect engagement ring! Trying to secretly figure out your partner's ring size can be such a rollercoaster, full of uncertainty and the fear of getting it wrong. When you shop for the ring together, your partner gets to pick something they truly love with your unique input.
Con: No Element of Surprise
Without the element of surprise, the “planned” proposal might feel a little less romantic and thoughtful to some. Since it's more of a discussion and joint agreement, it could take away some of the excitement and anticipation that usually comes with a surprise proposal. If this is something your partner has expressed to you before that is important to them, be sure to factor this in with your chosen approach, and consider how you can instill a touch of romance and celebration either in the moment or following.
Con: Potential Disagreements
With a secret proposal, you craft a surprise in your own special way, showing a creative side your partner might not have seen before. By organically discussing getting engaged, not only does it take away the element of surprise, but can potentially bring up some misalignments that can lead to disagreements and tension along the way. If this is the case, it's important to listen to your head, but try to always lead with your heart - after all, it should be a special, romantic moment, and you don't need to have all the answers right now.
Con: Just the Two of You
This can be a big plus for a lot of couples, but for some, a proposal is all about having loved ones in on the experience to not only help execute, but also to celebrate with straight after. If going the route of agreeing on being engaged, best to have the privacy of just the two of you so you can openly talk about it together, and save the celebrations for an engagement party.
