Laurel, Photography: Yana Yatsuk
Mafalda Patrício, Photography: Días de Vino y Rosas
The Beckham family drama has been on everyone's lips lately, with that infamous wedding dance between Victoria Beckham and son Brooklyn Beckham leaving newlywed Nicola Peltz in tears and now a months long enstrangement. So, what do you do if your parents and partner just don't get along? Shared events like this can feel like a minefield when your parents don’t approve of your partner. Maybe there was a tense first meeting over dinner, or perhaps there are whispered criticisms during wedding planning and subtle eye rolls every time you’re together. You’re caught in a tug-of-war between love and loyalty, wanting to honor your family while also protecting the person you’ve chosen to be with. But the truth is, this situation is far more common than we often admit. The good news? With clarity, communication, and boundaries, you can keep both your heart and your relationship intact.
Photography: Días de Vino y Rosas
Laurel, Photography: Yana Yatsuk
Look Beneath the Surface
of Their Disapproval
When parents disapprove of a partner, their reaction is rarely as simple as dislike. Often, it’s rooted in fear: fear of change, fear of losing influence, or fear that your life will unfold differently than they imagined. Cultural expectations, generational values, and unspoken anxieties can quietly shape their response long before they meet your loved one. Understanding this doesn’t mean you have to agree with your parents, but it can help you respond with empathy instead of defensiveness. By looking beyond surface-level criticism, you may uncover concerns that are more about your parents than your relationship. This clarity can transform the conversation from confrontation to understanding.
Get Honest With Yourself
Before You Respond
Before considering your parents' opinions, it's important to reflect on your own. Ask yourself if any of their concerns resonate with you or if they are completely at odds with your experience in the relationship. There’s a difference between ignoring red flags and refusing to acknowledge someone else’s discomfort. Taking time to reflect helps you respond with confidence rather than reacting impulsively. This self-awareness also prevents you from overexplaining or overdefending choices you believe in. When you’re grounded in your clarity, outside opinions lose some of their power.
Photography: Ginger's Eyes
Photography: Días de Vino y Rosas
Talk to Your Partner First
If your parents disapprove of your partner, you shouldn't have your first conversation with them. It should be with your partner. Open communication builds trust and prevents resentment from taking root. Honestly share what’s happening without framing your partner as the problem or obstacle. Approaching this as a shared challenge will reinforce that you’re on the same team. It also allows you to agree on boundaries, expectations, and the level of involvement that feels healthy. A united front doesn't mean perfection – it means mutual respect and transparency.
How to Have the Conversation
With Your Parents
Timing and tone matter more than a perfect argument ever will. Choose a time when your emotions are steady and not heightened by stress, celebrations, or conflict. Lead with how you feel rather than what they’ve done wrong, and resist the urge to persuade or prove anything. Asking questions can be more productive than defending your relationship outright. Some conversations won’t resolve everything in one sitting, and that’s okay. The goal is progress, not immediate approval.
Photography: Días de Vino y Rosas
Photography: Sasha Dove
Setting Loving Boundaries
& Knowing When to Stand
Your Ground
Healthy boundaries are not ultimatums, they are acts of self-respect. If parental disapproval begins to undermine your emotional well-being or relationship, it’s time to establish clearer boundaries. This may mean limiting certain discussions, declining unsolicited advice, or calmly shutting down repeated criticism. Standing your ground doesn't require anger or distance – it requires consistency. Over time, boundaries teach others how to engage with you. While they may initially resist, they often adapt. Even in celebrity families, the conflict between love and parental approval is real. Recently, Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham distanced themselves from their parents, David and Victoria Beckham, choosing peace and privacy over ongoing conflict. Their story shows that setting boundaries is about safeguarding your relationships and maintaining your peace of mind.
Love Doesn’t Need
Universal Approval
At some point in every adult relationship, you must choose your own values over inherited expectations. While parental support can be meaningful, it isn't necessary for a healthy partnership. The most important approval comes from the life you’re building and how it feels to live in it. Clearly choosing love doesn't mean rejecting your family, it means trusting yourself. Relationships grow stronger when they’re chosen freely rather than negotiated endlessly. Sometimes, acceptance follows later, after confidence leads the way.
Photography: Abbey Olive Weddings
Photography: Irena Balashko
