Your child is getting married! As a parent, you must be filled with excitement and already thinking about this whole planning journey and all the details. However, please don't take everything into your hands. Being overly pushy with your advice and help might not be well-received by the couple and could even lead to some tension between you. If you want to make sure everything goes smoothly, these tips might help!
Do: Stay Connected with the Couple
Communication, communication, and once again communication! Having open conversations with the couple about their wedding expectations is super important for the parents. Get to know how they picture their big day — their dreams, wishes, preferences and ideas. This is a wonderful way to show how much you care about the couple’s happiness and how excited you are to help make their special day a success. Still, make sure to strike a balance and avoid being too intrusive. And remember, the final say in planning and decision-making rests always with the couple.
Do: Offer Financial Support
Venues, vendors, additional events, gifts — planning a wedding can be quite pricey. To make things easier for the couple, consider covering a portion of the wedding costs. Sit down with the soon-to-be-weds to discuss the budget specifics and ensure everyone is on the same page about the financial aspect. If for some reason you can't contribute, it's perfectly okay to mention that to the couple — they'll surely understand and appreciate your honesty!
Do: Be a Helping Hand
Be proactive! Planning a wedding comes with so many tasks and decisions that it might be just too much for the couple to deal with alone. So absolutely do offer your help! For example, you could step in to organize a fabulous bridal shower or any other pre-wedding event. You can also offer to read through vendor contracts and proofread printed materials. Emotional support counts just as much! Be there for the couple, lending a listening ear, providing encouragement and reassurance during all stressful moments.
Do: Respect the Couple’s Choices and Boundaries
As a parent, you only want the best for your child, especially on such a big day. That's completely understandable! But while your life-long experience and wisdom is truly gold, let the couple freely plan their celebration in a way that resonates with them and represents their love story. Follow their lead and be supportive of their decisions on guest lists, venues, arrangements and other details. Even if you have different opinions, put the couple's choices first. Whether they're thinking of a fancy, royal-style celebration or a low-key elopement, go with the flow and cheer them on.
Do: Prepare a Heartfelt Speech
Sharing a wedding speech as parents is really one of the most touching and anticipated moments. Make sure to get yours ready and practice it ahead of time instead of relying on your improvisation skills. After all, you wouldn't want any awkward situations on such a special day, right?
Don’t: Make Surprise Decisions
Surprises and surprise decisions, even when meant with the best of intentions, can potentially cause unnecessary drama. As parents, you should avoid making major decisions for the couple without them knowing. We completely understand that you’re just trying to be helpful, and that's awesome! But sometimes, what seems like the right move might turn out differently than expected. The key is to keep communication lines wide open and make decisions together. This is the best way to create the positive and joyful wedding experience everyone is hoping for!
Don’t: Ignore the Other Set of Parents
Build a close connection with your child's partner's family, especially if you haven't already. Collaborate and join forces to plan a wedding celebration that will create cherished memories for your beloved children. Work harmoniously together without trying to outdo the other set of parents in gifts, speeches, or contributions — it's not a competition!
Don’t: Attach Strings to Your Financial Support
Treat your financial contribution as a sincere gift rather than a chance to take the lead on important decisions like choosing the wedding venue, vendors or guest list. Instead of trying to use it as a tool to control and dictate every detail, let your support be a gesture of love and encouragement for the couple's choices.
Don’t: Invite Anyone Not On The Guest List
If you feel that an important person is missing from the guest list, discuss it with the couple first. Please avoid adding guests on your own, as it could impact the already-planned budget, seating arrangements, and cause unnecessary stress for the bride and groom. Whether the couple agrees or disagrees with your suggestions, respect their decision.
Don’t: Overshadow the Couple
Parents are such important people and play an enormous role, no doubt. But it's the couple's day, not yours, so the focus should be on them and them only. Try not to steal the show with attention-grabbing outfits or over-the-top actions. Let the bride and groom shine!