Polina Vinogradova, Norman & Blake
The guest list. One of the trickiest parts of wedding planning. One minute, you're casually jotting down names, and the next, you realize your list has 50 extra plus-ones and distant acquaintances—some of whom you probably haven’t spoken to since high school. If your venue capacity (or budget) is giving you a reality check, it's time to face the inevitable and start making some tough cuts. But who makes the cut? And, more importantly, who doesn’t? We’ve put together the ultimate questionnaire to help you sort it out! Ask yourself the following questions, and if your answers spark uncertainty or start to feel like more of an obligation than a joy, it might be time to trim down the list.
Have You Spoken to
Them in the Last Year?
If the only time you hear from them is through a mass holiday text or the occasional ‘like’ on Instagram, they might not need a seat at your wedding. This day is about celebrating with your nearest and dearest, not fulfilling social obligations from 2016. Cutting down your wedding guest list is easier when you focus on who’s actively part of your life.
Would You Take
Them Out for Dinner?
Picture this: You’re planning an elegant dinner at your favorite fancy restaurant, complete with multiple courses and impeccable service. Would this person get an invite? If the thought of spending an intimate evening wining and dining them feels like a stretch, they probably don’t need a seat at your wedding either. A wedding is an investment—every guest should be someone you truly want to celebrate with.
Have They Ever Met Your Partner?
Your wedding is about the two of you, not just you. If they’ve never met your future spouse, don’t know their name, or think you’re still dating your ex—safe to say, they can sit this one out. The people sharing this day should know and love you as a couple, not just as a solo act from years past.
Would You Be Offended if You Weren’t Invited to their Wedding?
An invitation isn’t a transactional exchange—it’s a reflection of who you truly want by your side. If you’d be completely fine missing their big day (or didn’t even get an invite when they tied the knot), reconsider their spot on your list. Weddings should be about celebrating with people who genuinely matter to you, not about evening the score. If their absence wouldn’t leave a noticeable gap in your day, chances are, they won’t be missing their invite either.
Are They in Your Life…
or Just on Your Feed?
There’s a difference between someone being in your life and someone you toss an occasional Instagram story like to. If you wouldn’t call them for advice, just to catch up, or even for a good cry, maybe they’re not wedding guest material. Your wedding should be filled with real relationships, not digital acquaintances.
Will They Add to the Vibe
or Just Take Up Space?
Energy matters. Your guest list should be filled with people who are excited for you, who will dance, laugh, and celebrate. If they’re more likely to be a quiet observer (or worse, a complainer), save yourself the trouble. You don’t want lack of enthusiasm dulling the energy of your day.
Kayleigh Taylor, Thomas Jaspers
Are You Inviting
Them Out of Guilt?
This is your wedding, not a social favor. If their name is on the list because of family pressure, an old obligation, or the dreaded “Well, they invited me to theirs…”—take a breath and let it go. At the end of the day, this is your moment, your celebration, and your call.
Are They Bringing
Drama Instead of Joy?
That cousin who always starts a family feud? The friend with a flair for wedding critiques? The ex who still lingers? If their presence comes with a side of stress, trust that your day will be better without them. Your wedding should be about love, happiness, and the people who have supported you both as individuals and as a couple—those who truly deserve to be there celebrating with you.
Do They Always Flake?
We all have that one friend who’s always “so excited” to come—until the day of, when they suddenly have food poisoning, a last-minute work thing, or just vanish from the group chat. If they’ve skipped big moments before, there’s a good chance they’ll do the same for your wedding. Save yourself the stress (and the RSVP guesswork) by giving that seat to someone who will actually show up.
Do You Want Them in
Your Wedding Album for Years?
Imagine flipping through your wedding album a decade from now. Does it feel right to see their face among your loved ones, or does it seem out of place? Will their presence bring back happy memories, or will you be left wondering why they were there in the first place? Your gut will tell you everything you need to know.
