Giving a wedding gift might seem straightforward—until you're staring at an empty registry, debating whether cash is too impersonal, or wondering if you're late. The truth is, wedding gift etiquette can be confusing, even for the most well-meaning guests. We're here to help make wedding gifting simple, stylish, and stress-free. In this guide we break down what to give, when to give it, and what to avoid, so you can gift with confidence (and skip the guesswork).
What to Give?
Wedding gifts aren’t about spending big—they’re about giving something thoughtful, useful, or meaningful. Whether you’re pulling from the registry, writing a check, or going the custom route, the key is to give with intention. Here’s how to choose the right gift for the couple (and for you).
Stick to the Registry (When You Can)
Registries exist for a reason—they make it easy to give something the couple actually wants. Even if it feels less personal, it’s a thoughtful way to support their life together without guessing. If the main list is picked over, check for group gift options or add-on registries linked through online platforms. When in doubt, a gift card to a homeware brand they love, or chose one that is on their registry, as a safe (and appreciated) backup.
Is It Okay to Give Cash?
Absolutely. In fact, many modern couples prefer it. Cash gifts can go toward a honeymoon fund, a new home, or whatever next chapter they’re building. Just skip the envelope handoff at the wedding—opt for a card box or send it digitally with a sweet note. As for how much to give, it’s less about a number and more about your relationship with the couple—and what feels generous within your means.
Thoughtful Alternatives
If the registry’s empty or nothing feels quite right, go personal—but not random. Think: a custom print of their wedding venue, a beautiful coffee table book tied to their interests, or a handwritten letter paired with a framed photo. Sentimental doesn’t have to mean over-the-top—it just has to feel intentional. A little context with your gift always helps it land.
When to Give it?
Timing matters almost as much as the gift itself. While there’s some flexibility, knowing when to send or bring a gift can help you avoid awkwardness—and make the experience smoother for everyone. Here’s when to give, send, or hold off.
Before the Wedding (Yes, That’s Ideal)
The best time to give a gift? Before the wedding ever happens. It saves the couple (and their planner) from having to cart things home after the reception, and gives them time to take it all in. Shipping it directly to their home—especially through the registry—is always a good idea. Bonus points for including a thoughtful card or note they can open at their leisure.
For Love and Living, Brogan Scott
At the Wedding (If You Must)
Bringing a gift to the wedding is still acceptable—but only if it’s manageable. Stick to a card or something small that doesn’t require a second vehicle to transport. If you’re set on giving something physical, make sure the venue has a designated card or gift table, and don’t be offended if it’s tucked away until later. This is their party, not a haul day.
After the Wedding (Is That Too Late?)
Technically, etiquette says you have up to a year post-wedding to send a gift—but let’s be real, the sooner the better. If life gets in the way (it happens), a thoughtful card or personal note goes a long way in showing you didn’t forget. Just don’t wait so long it feels like an afterthought. A late gift with heart will always win over something rushed and impersonal.
Creative in Bloom, Mitch Ferris
What to Skip?
Not all gifts land the way you think they might. Some ideas, while well-intentioned, can miss the mark or add stress to the couple’s big day. These are the common gifting pitfalls to avoid—and what to do instead.
Going Off-Registry Without a Plan
It’s tempting to go rogue—especially if you pride yourself on being a “good gift giver”—but tread carefully. Unless you know the couple’s taste really well, avoid one-off home items or overly niche choices. Off-registry gifts can be great, but they should feel curated, not random. Think of it less like a surprise, more like a beautifully considered gesture.
Re-Gifting
No matter how tempting it is to pass on that untouched candle set or brand-new kitchen gadget, re-gifting rarely lands well. Most people can tell when something wasn’t meant for them—and the sentiment matters more than the item. If budget’s a concern, go with a heartfelt card and a modest gift card. Thoughtfulness always trumps dollar value.
Overly Personal or Inside Joke Gifts
That novelty mug from your college years or the scrapbook filled with inside jokes? Save it for a one-on-one moment, not the wedding gift. Unless you're extremely close and know they’ll get it, skip anything that might confuse or fall flat. There’s a difference between sentimental and too specific. When in doubt, keep it classic with a personal touch.
