Every couple wants their wedding to be remembered for all the right reasons. But the success of the day isn’t just in the hands of the dream team perfecting every detail—it also depends on the couple at the heart of it. And while we’re all for bending the rules and making the day your own, there are some unspoken wedding etiquette codes that are important to keep in mind. With insights from top industry experts, we’re breaking down 12 common wedding etiquette faux pas you’ll definitely want to avoid.
Bari Elexa Events, Marcia Fernandes
Photography: Kelly Brown, Afonso Castella
Overscheduling The Day
A jam-packed wedding timeline might seem exciting—brimming with outfit changes, performances, surprise moments, and multiple locations—but in reality, it can leave everyone feeling rushed. PALAZZOEVENTI, a wedding planning team with over 15 years in the industry, reminds couples, "Trying to cram every possible moment into the timeline—from sunrise photo shoots to midnight fireworks—can leave everyone exhausted. A well-paced wedding allows space for magic to happen naturally."
That’s something Molly Tomlin, an expert in British and American etiquette and elegance, wholeheartedly agrees with. "When the timeline is timed too tightly, there is little room to soak in the joy, take a quiet moment, or adjust if something runs late. Your guests will also appreciate having a bit of breathing room. Time to freshen up, mingle, or simply be present helps everyone feel more comfortable and cared for."
Ensuring a smooth and seamless flow matters too. With years of experience crafting unforgettable weddings, Kara Keble-White, founder of Studio White, encourages couples to, "make sure that the day builds in momentum with no lulls—even during transfers to and from different venues. If you are asking guests to travel then make the journey exciting with surprises like drinks, canapes and/or entertainment."
Photography: Dos Mas En La Mesa, Atmoswed
Prioritizing Look Over Experience
A visually stunning wedding may look incredible in photos—but it shouldn’t come at the expense of guest comfort. It’s easy to get swept up in the aesthetics and overlook how it actually feels to be there. "A sun-drenched ceremony might seem like a dream, but guests melting in their formalwear under a blazing sky will remember the heat, not the vows," the team at PALAZZOEVENTI wisely points out. "If shade and hand-fans aren’t an option, consider shifting the ceremony closer to sunset—your guests (and your photos) will thank you."
Details like terrain are also a key factor to consider. "If your venue features varied terrains such as lawns or gravel, consider providing heel protectors or stoppers in a few different sizes," shares Diana Hadwiger, a certified and licensed etiquette and protocol consultant. "This thoughtful gesture allows guests in high heels to move comfortably and confidently, ensuring they can fully enjoy the celebration with elegance and ease."
Marketing For Lemons
Photography: Robert Marcillas, Claudia Maurino
Mismatch in Formality
When the formality of your wedding isn’t clearly defined from the start, the experience can feel disjointed. Every detail, from attire and venue to food service and music, should support a unified vision. Diana Hadwiger explains: "If you envision yourself in a boho chic lace gown, a summer chateau might beautifully reflect this style, in contrast to a city rooftop. Likewise, should a black-tie dress code be your choice, create an atmosphere of sophistication with table service, avoiding a buffet that might disrupt the elegance and comfort of guests in formal attire."
PALAZZOEVENTI, A Charming Fête
Photography: Misha Moon, Cedar & Pines
Forgetting That Sacred Spaces
Have Sacred Rules
Getting married in a sacred or culturally significant venue comes with a deeper responsibility, one that extends beyond aesthetics. These spaces often have longstanding traditions and house-specific rules that must be honored, something couples sometimes overlook in the excitement of planning.
Anne Chertoff, etiquette expert and COO of Beaumont Etiquette, reminds: "When getting married in a sacred or culturally-significant venue, it’s important to respect their rules for renting the space. There may be customs you need to follow regarding attire (such as modesty guidelines), décor—you may not be able to hang or attach flowers or other décor items to the walls—and music, which may be limited to a pre-approved list. Before signing a contract, make sure to review what guidelines there are and confirm with your family and vendors that you can abide by all of them."
Photography: Ochoeme, Flamingo Photo Collective
Pre-Wedding Invites Without
a Wedding Invitation
Inviting someone to a bridal shower or engagement party, but not the wedding itself can feel confusing—or worse, hurtful. Anna Hauldren, Founder and CEO of Etiquette, Inc. notes: "Pre-wedding events are meant to be celebrated with those closest to you, those who will also be present on the actual wedding day. If you’re not planning to invite someone to the wedding, it’s best not to include them in the pre-wedding celebrations either."
Molly Tomlin adds: "Inviting guests to your engagement celebration who won’t be attending the wedding can leave them feeling confused or even used, especially if it comes across as a way to gather more gifts or trim the wedding day costs."
Octubre
Photography: Nous Nous, Dias De Vino Y Rosas
Sending Invitations Too Late
Timely invitations aren’t just polite—they’re essential, especially for destination weddings. Guests need time to plan, book travel, and prepare. "Invitations should go out 6–8 weeks prior to the wedding date and Save the Dates sent at least 6–7 months prior to the wedding date," emphasizes Lisa Costin, Creative Director and Co-Founder of A Charming Fête. "Have a wedding website that offers detailed information for transportation and lodging recommendations."
Equally important is clarity and etiquette around how you address those invites. "Make sure to list an RSVP reply date so guests reply to you in a timely manner as well," advises Anne Chertoff. "You will need to get a headcount to the caterer, florist, baker, and other vendors so they know how many people you’re expecting." "Couples should also make sure they list exactly who is invited at that household on the envelope,” Chertoff adds. "Writing ‘The Smith Family’ implies that the entire household is invited. If children are not invited, do not list their names on the outer or inner envelope."
Syllable Calligraphy
Photography: Claudia Maurino
Being Inconsistent with
Plus-One Invites & Children Policies
Be fair and thoughtful when deciding your plus-one policy for guests. "Giving some friends a plus-one while leaving others out can lead to hurt feelings or awkward conversations," says Molly Tomlin. "It’s also important to understand that plus-ones are not the same as spouses, fiancés, or long-term partners. A good rule of thumb: anyone who is married, engaged, or in a committed, long-term relationship should be invited as a couple."
Lisa Costin also highlights that staying consistent is key: "If space allows, it's proper to extend a plus-one to guests in serious relationships. Regardless of which path you choose, it's important to be consistent to avoid upsetting guests!"
Just like with plus-ones, it’s wise to set clear guidelines for couples with children. For example, you might choose to invite only the children of immediate family members. "When telling people what your decision is regarding children and plus-ones, be direct, but kind," advises Anne Chertoff. "You can explain that the venue capacity or your budget is limiting the size of the guest list."
Mae & Co Creative
Photography: Anni Graham, Rebecca Spencer
Not Taking the Time to
Greet Every Guest
Forgetting to acknowledge and greet every guest is one of those easy-to-miss moments on a busy wedding day. With so much excitement—and stress—it’s all too common for couples to get caught up in the whirlwind and skip the simple, meaningful chance to connect with the people who’ve come to celebrate them. "Even at large receptions, it’s important to acknowledge each guest," reminds Anna Hauldren. "A smart strategy is for the couple to position themselves at the entrance of the reception or dinner area during the cocktail hour, which will create a great opportunity to greet everyone."
As Anne Chertoff points out, "A quick ‘Thank you for celebrating with us’ will be very much appreciated—especially when some people may have traveled a great distance to be there with you."
Miss Little Things
Photography: Monika Frias
Ignoring Guest Dynamics
at the Table
The table plan can make or break the guest experience! Thoughtful seating arrangements help create a warm, inviting atmosphere where conversations flow naturally. Kara Keble-White suggests: "Take time over the table plan. Your guests are sitting at the tables for a long time and therefore you should place people on tables which maximize their enjoyment, making sure personalities are considered."
N.E.W, One Fine Day
Photography: BOTTEGA53
Overlooking Dietary Restrictions
The menu deserves just as much attention as any other part of the day. To ensure every guest feels considered—and can actually enjoy the meal—be proactive about gathering information on dietary needs and allergies. "Dietary needs and restrictions are more common than ever, which is why it's good etiquette to include a question on the RSVP asking guests to list any medical or religious dietary requirements," explains Anna Hauldren.
Not Planning for Vendor Meals
Your vendors are an essential part of your big day, which means they should absolutely be included in your meal count. Pay particular attention to those who will be on-site for the majority of the day, such as your planner, photographer, or videographer. "It’s not just thoughtful to provide them with a proper meal; it’s good etiquette," explains Molly Tomlin. "A protein bar or leftover sandwich doesn’t quite cut it. A full, seated vendor meal during the reception shows appreciation for the people working behind the scenes to bring your vision to life."
Studio White, PALAZZOEVENTI
Photography: Holly Clark, Andy Nasta
Skipping the Thank-Yous
Gratitude is everything! The people who took time out of their day to be there for one of the most meaningful moments of your life deserve to feel appreciated. "Your wedding may be your spotlight moment, but it’s also a gathering of the people who love and support you. A heartfelt thank-you—whether during your speech, in a personal note, or a warm word at dinner—goes further than any favor ever could," says the PALAZZOEVENTI team.
It’s not just about their presence—remember to thank your guests for the gifts as well. "Keep a careful record of your wedding gifts to ensure you can sincerely express your gratitude with handwritten "Thank You" notes. If you choose printed thank you cards due to a large guest list, adding a personal handwritten message to each remains a meaningful gesture," notes Diana Hadwiger.
Anne Chertoff reminds couples: "The #1 rule regarding gifts and thank-you notes is that you must send them within 2 to 3 months after the wedding, or if you receive a gift before the wedding send a thank-you note within 2 weeks of receiving it."
Bari Elexa Events, Kraak
Photography: Kelly Brown, Zeven Media
