You've secured the date, now it's time to contact the vendors. Reaching out to your potential photographer or florist is an exciting part of the planning process, but it often comes with the awkward reality of not moving forward with everyone you contact. Whether it's the rate that doesn't quite fit with yout budget, the visions don't quite align or you've simply chosen a different route, learning how to gently decline is just as important as enquiring in the first place. Not only is it respectful to close the loop, but it also frees up their time and energy to focus on clients who are the right fit. Ahead, we share how to say no (kindly), what to avoid, and why ghosting should never be part of your wedding planning etiquette.
Kien's Collection, Derando Studio
Remember, Vendors are Human Too
Behind every beautiful Instagram account is a person or small team dedicating their time to serving couples. When a vendor receives an enquiry, they may start blocking out dates or even draft a custom proposal for you. A polite thank-you or closure message—even if it’s just one line—will acknowledge their effort and time. A simple response like, “Thank you so much for your time and for sharing your work with us. We truly appreciate it, but we've decided to go in a different direction,” will go a long way.
Don't Wait Too Long to Reply
If you know fairly quickly that you’re going with a different vendor, say so. A short, polite message sent within a few days keeps things professional and thoughtful. Vendors won’t be offended, and in fact, many even appreciate the clarity and timeliness. This is especially crucial during peak wedding season, as dates fill up fast and vendors need to secure their time slots.
Hitched on Film, LES Collection
Keep it Friendly
A graceful “no” doesn’t need to require a long explanation. Something like, “Thank you so much for your time and proposal. We’ve decided to go in a different direction, but truly appreciate your work and wish you all the best this season,” is the perfect balance of kindness and clarity. It shows appreciation, sets a clear boundary, and keeps the door open for future collaboration or referrals.
Avoid Ghosting at All Costs
Even if you’ve changed your mind, feel awkward, or are simply overwhelmed by planning, ghosting sends the wrong message. Vendors are professionals, and they don’t take rejection personally, but disappearing without a word can feel disrespectful. A quick message, as soon as you've made up your mind, is better than none at all.
You Don't Owe an
Elaborate Explanation
It can feel uncomfortable to turn someone down, especially if you really liked them. But remember, you’re not required to explain your budget constraints or justify your decision. But it’s important to remember that you’re under no obligation to explain your reasoning in detail. You don’t need to justify your budget, your partner’s preferences, or your gut instinct. Trust that being honest is perfectly acceptable in this situation.
Leave on a Kind Note
The wedding world is small and deeply connected. Whether through mutual vendors, referrals, or even social media, your name might come up again. Ending the conversation with warmth and kindness helps build a reputation of grace and professionalism (even as a client!). A vendor you decline today might be someone you revisit for a future event, or someone your best friend ends up booking based on your initial enquiry. Thoughtful communication has a ripple effect, and when done with care, it leaves doors open rather than closed.
