Anniken Englund Jørgensen, Dos Mas En La Mesa
Photography: Hakon Jorgensen
Wedding vows, whether shared privately or in front of your loved ones, are a big highlight of any wedding celebration. It’s a precious, emotion-driven moment where two beautiful souls express their deepest feelings, share their love story, and make promises for a lifetime of happiness. Your vows are a chance to reflect on your hopes, dreams, and even the little quirks that make your relationship unique. So how to write vows that feel meaningful and personal? With insights from industry experts, we’ve put together a simple guide to help you get started.
Esthetic Birde, Katya Vladykina
Photography: Blaise Bell, Cara Mia
Plan Everything in Advance
With endless wedding to-do lists and responsibilities, some tasks—like writing your vows—can end up taking a backseat. However, leaving them until the last minute can turn a meaningful process into a source of stress. Jessie Walters, co-founder of Ruby & James, advises couples to start early. "Begin writing your vows well in advance, long before the final week or days before the wedding," she suggests. "This will give you the time to reflect, refine, and to truly savour your love story."
Set the Mood
Creating the right atmosphere can make writing your vows a more enjoyable and relaxing experience. “You want to have the proper mood set up when you start writing,” says Alex Vaidean, photographer at Symphony of Light. "Pour yourself a glass of your favorite wine, light that new scented candle you bought, and put on your favorite music. Let those feelings flow into you and start putting them on paper."
Ruby & James, Dos Mas En La Mesa
Photography: Anitra Wells
Start with Bullet Points
Getting started is often the hardest part. Marriage celebrant and content creator Aniella Batten recommends beginning with bullet points to better organize your ideas. "Gather your thoughts and feelings in one place. Once you have penned everything you want to say, it will be easier to weave them all together. It is also a good idea to either have your celebrant read your vows beforehand, or share them with a close friend to compare your vows in both length and tone. While they don't have to be the same, it is nice to have some likeness between them."
Reflect on Your Relationship
The team at Palazzo Eventi suggests reminiscing about the day you first met. "Try to awaken those memories—what exactly captured your heart about your partner? Now, knowing it was no coincidence that you met, describing those emotions can be a wonderful opening for your vows. Think about what connects you both and where your differences lie. Drawing parallels between your shared experiences and unique traits can beautifully illustrate your journey together."
Palazzo Eventi, Katie Gracen
Photography: Misha Moon
Fuel Your Creativity
To keep ideas flowing, draw inspiration from the things you love. "Watch your favorite romantic movie and spend a couple of hours reading books by your favorite authors and poets," recommends Alex Vaidean. "This will jump start any ideas you might have and will help you elaborate on them. The best way to boost your creativity is through reading and hearing creative thoughts."
Speak from Your Heart
Your vows don’t need to be perfect, but they should be sincere. Just be yourself and let your feelings for the person you're about to share your life with guide you. "Speak from your heart, and when words seem elusive, turn to the wisdom of the greatest poets and writers for inspiration. Let your love shine through, beautifully imperfect, but entirely yours," says Jessie Walters.
Cat Spanti, Nicole Plett
Photography: Jack Henry
Avoid Including Everything
It's really tempting to include every little detail, however this can only make your vows feel long-winded. Aim for 2 to 3 minutes—just enough time to express your feelings without losing your guests' attention. Keep it short, sweet, and meaningful!
Add Humor
Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood during your vows and ease the serious tone of the ceremony, so don’t be afraid to add a little fun! Just be careful with inside jokes or memes—some are often better kept between the two of you. If you’re unsure whether a joke will work, it’s always safer to leave it out to avoid any awkward moments.
Symphony of Light, Oriwa LeFevre
Photography: Georgia Burns
End with the Present & the Future
A beautiful way to wrap up your vows is by sharing your thoughts on the wedding day itself. "Reflect on the moment you realized you were ready to commit to this person for life. What are you feeling now, and what promises do you want to make as you step into the future together?" suggests Palazzo Eventi.
Be Sure to Practice
As the saying goes, practice makes perfect—this advice is especially helpful if you're a bit shy in front of an audience. “If you're nervous about speaking publicly, or the idea of sharing your heartfelt words in front of a big group feels a tad daunting, being familiar with your words will help you feel confident and grounded in the words you are saying”, says Aniella Batten. “And remember, if there is anyone you can be your truest, most authentic self in front of, it is the cherished people you have included on your wedding day.”
