Allegory Events, Love Rosie Studio
Photography: Jess Withey, Love Rosie Studio
Time moves forward, and though those who once filled our lives with love and laughter may no longer be physically present, their memory continues to shape the moments we cherish. And it’s often during special occasions, like birthdays, holidays, and especially weddings, that their absence is most deeply felt. While these moments are meant to be joyful, there’s a quiet longing—a space left behind that we carry with us. Honoring those we've lost on such a meaningful day can turn that sense of absence into a powerful tribute, allowing their memory to be felt in the love and happiness that surrounds you. With insights from industry experts, THE WED offers heartfelt ideas to keep their memory alive, ensuring they remain a part of the love and happiness that surrounds you.
Weaving a Thoughtful Tribute into Your Ceremony Program
The ceremony is the heart of your wedding day—where you exchange vows, share your deepest promises, and celebrate the love that binds you together. It’s also where the absence of a loved one can be felt most deeply. You may wish they were there to witness this special moment, to see the joy and love you’ve found. While their physical presence may be missing, there are beautiful ways to honor their memory during this intimate part of the day. Dallas-based wedding planner Julian Leaver, founder of Julian Leaver Events, suggests a simple yet touching way to do this: "Including an 'In Loving Memory' section in your ceremony program is a timeless way to honor those who are no longer with you. A simple, heartfelt mention of their names, along with a meaningful quote or sentiment, ensures their presence is felt as you say, I do."
Julian Leaver Events, Nikki Strekowski & Meaghan Brianne
Photography: Kristen Kilpatrick Snow, Nikki Strekowski & Meaghan Brianne
Setting a Memorial Table
Another beautiful way to keep your loved ones close is by setting up a memorial table, adorned with framed photos, cherished mementos, and meaningful keepsakes. On a day as important as your wedding, this simple tribute brings a sense of peace and connection, offering a gentle reminder that their love and support are still with you—guiding and strengthening you when you need it most.
For couples who prefer a more subtle approach, California-based planner Callista Osborn, the creative mind behind Callista & Co., recommends an alternative: a collective display of photos featuring loved ones. This could include images from family weddings, gatherings, or other meaningful moments. She advises, “A collective display of photos of loved ones, such as pictures from weddings of family and friends, can be a nice way to include and honor memories of those who have passed without specifically having a remembrance table.”
Saving a Special Seat for Them
A truly powerful homage can be as simple as reserving a seat in honor of a loved one. This touching act goes beyond a symbolic tribute—it creates a physical space where their presence is felt, not just remembered. As Julian Leaver elaborates, "You might place a flower they adored, a framed photo, or a small memento on the chair as a quiet tribute to their presence in your life. For example, at my own wedding, we reserved a seat for my husband's grandfather, who had recently passed, ensuring he was still part of our day in a meaningful way."
Danielle Connel, the heart and soul of Paper Cliché, a wedding stationery design studio in California, suggests adding a special custom touch to reserved seating. She shares: “I think a beautiful way to honor loved ones that can’t be there for your wedding day is a custom printed linen banner to drape over a reserved chair at the ceremony. Not only are they beautiful on the wedding day and but they are a meaningful keepsake to cherish for years to come. They can also be repurposed during the reception if you have another dedicated area to honor your loved ones with candles or photos.”
Allegory Events, ID Event Agency
Photography: Haute Weddings, Artem Lazarev
Carrying Their Spirit with a Family Heirloom
Your wedding look is an intimate reflection of who you are, and it can also be a meaningful way to honor those you've lost. As a meaningful alternative to traditional tributes, Callista Osborn offers a unique suggestion for incorporating a loved one’s memory into your outfit sharing, "Rewearing or including fabric, from the attire of a loved one who has passed, can be a particularly thoughtful way to include them in your wedding day. A mother or grandmother’s wedding gown could be restyled into a rehearsal dinner dress, or fabric from the gown could be sewn into the liner of the bride’s wedding gown."
Frances Wynne, a renowned international wedding planner and Founder of Allegory Events, shares a touching example: "A bride I worked with sadly had lost her mother when she was 12. She kept her mother's wedding dress for years, then had it refashioned to fit her, and wore it during her first dance with her father. That was an incredibly special moment and tribute"
Writing a Touching Letter or Poem
If it's easier for you to express your emotions on paper, don’t hesitate to do so. Write a letter or poem to your lost loved one and read it aloud during the ceremony or reception. This is an incredibly personal way to share your feelings, offering a raw and intimate connection to the person you’re honoring. It creates a moment of vulnerability, allowing you to speak directly to them—whether it’s expressing gratitude, recalling a precious memory, or simply acknowledging their influence on your life.
Dos Mas En La Mesa, Paper Cliché
Paying Homage in the Blessing Before the Meal
During the blessing or welcome toast at your reception, take a moment to mention one or two loved ones by name. "This small, but powerful acknowledgment not only honors their memory, but also invites their spirit into the space," explains Julian Leaver. "Whether it’s a simple mention of gratitude or a cherished family saying, weaving their legacy into this moment makes your celebration even more heartfelt."
Naming a Signature Cocktail in Their Honor
Why not raise a glass in memory of a loved one by giving a signature cocktail a name that celebrates their spirit? Frances Wynne recalls a memorable and touching moment with a bride who had lost her mother, Wilma, a few years before her wedding. "To gently honor her memory, we named a gin and tonic cocktail 'The Smooth Wilma' after her mother's favorite drink. This offered a chance for close friends and family to connect with Wilma, raise a toast, and celebrate her life before the speeches began."
Callista & Co., Bleu
Photography: Cedar & Pines, Alta
A Song that Speaks to the Heart
Music has a unique way of keeping memories alive, allowing you to honor a loved one through sound and song. Sydney-based photographer David Shaw of Novare Weddings suggests incorporating their favorite song into a significant moment. "Play their favorite song—or one that reminds you of them—during a special moment, such as signing the marriage certificate or during the bridal party entrance. This allows for a quiet moment of remembrance without interrupting the flow of the day." Even playing a favorite song of a grandparent who has passed during your mother-daughter or father-daughter dance can be a touching way to include their memory in your celebration.
Letting their Voice be Heard
Hearing a loved one’s voice can be one of the most powerful and moving ways to keep their presence close on such a special day. David Shaw shares that some of the most touching tributes they’ve witnessed involve couples weaving recorded audio into their celebrations. "One of our brides had recorded her grandfather singing before he passed, and used this audio as her first dance song. Another included a snippet of a voicemail she had saved from her late mother, and used this as a part of her wedding film. If you are lucky enough to have audio of the voices of your lost loved ones, incorporating them in parts of the day is a beautiful way to honour their memory, and feel them near."
Julian Leaver, Grace & Saviour
Photography: Shannon Skloss, Novare Weddings
